Original title:
Looking Ahead to 2015
What follows is something I wrote in 2014, eight years ago. I think about that time and see that some things have changed for me, while others are exactly in the same spot as they were then. That’s neither good or bad, I suppose, it just is.
I wrote this as part of my old blog, Putting on the New, which was a site I founded that had a diverse group of almost 30 Christian women all writing about their walk with God. It had differing viewpoints and experiences and I was amazed at everything God did with that site.
At the time I wrote these words, 2015 was just around the corner, and I was thinking about the blessings my life had received and the things I yet longed for.
I’m not much of a resolutions person, but I do take stock in the former year and think about goals for the next one. I’m doing that today… looking back over the things I thought would happen that didn’t, and smiling at the ones that did that I never dreamed of. It reminds me that I need to have goals but always ask God for His will, to always listen to the direction He wants me to go.
This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.
1 John 5:14
Things don’t happen without God’s will. So why do I feel bad when something doesn’t turn out like I thought it did? I guess it’s because I look at my life and see the things I had always wanted (marriage, children, lots of friends, financial stability) and see that I have “holes” in my life. That’s when I know I need to change my view. The “holes” are just expectations I had, when in fact perhaps God has given me other things I never could have dreamed of, like the ability to write and connect with people, to create art and sell it, to struggle financially but have enough always.
Do you feel that there are holes in your life? If you’re like me, it can be hard to let go of expectations, especially when some of them are basic. Things like love and support from the people in your life. Is it too much to ask for? Or about a life surrounding by family who are pulling for you and praying for you. These aren’t unreasonable expectations, but the problem with clinging to our view of what a perfect life would be is that God might be answering our prayers in a completely different way. “Family” might mean different things, not just the people you were born to. Friends might come in a different way than you expected.
It’s taken me years, into my 40s, to fully accept whatever it is that God wants for my life. And that isn’t always easy. I try and balance between working toward goals and allowing Him to guide me, to allow my work to be His will. And I go back to this verse in 1 John 5:14 a lot. My prayer for today is for this year and every blessed day you give me, please let me be making the decisions and actions that you would have me make. Let it be for your will, even when it isn’t what I expected.
