Read the Label (a poem) – Overcoming Verbal Abuse

One of my most popular poems over the years has been “Read the Label,” a poem I wrote long, long ago and published in my first book, The Difference Now. This poem was written for all those who have been a victim of verbal abuse. I also included it in my “best of” book New and Selected Poems.

“Read the Label” is About Rising Above Verbal Abuse and Developing Self-Acceptance

I’ve received many comments on this poem from a wide variety of people, ranging from young girls to middle aged-men to older women. Everyone seems to have a different take on it, and I think that’s the way it should be with poetry. You should develop your own opinions about it, and it doesn’t matter why I wrote it so much as it matters what it means to you. That’s one reason I haven’t always shared the stories behind the poems I’ve written.

But then, many of you also want to know what led up to the poem, or what it really means. So when I tell you, please know that if you get something different out of it, don’t change your opinion. It’s yours and belongs to you. Poetry is going to touch people differently, which is one reason I always say the world needs more poetry.

The Poem Is About Labels of a Different Type

So then, this poem… some people believe it’s about a woman’s size, because I literally mention dresses and eating and being thin. But it’s not about that. It’s also not about fashion or conforming to the physical constraints of what society thinks is the right clothing.

No, this poem is all about finding your voice. It’s about strengthening your self-esteem, not letting the labels that others pin on you become part of the fabric of your soul.

The poem is about trying to change yourself to please someone, trying to fit into the definition they have for you. But does that definition really fit? Is it you? For years I was told I was “cold,” when really I was trying to protect myself. That label didn’t fit. Neither did the “mouthy” or “lazy” labels. Labels sometimes are just names we’re being called. If someone shouts it over and over to you, they are trying to get you to fit into that label.

But don’t let them.

Labels and Verbal Abuse

Sometimes the labels are more than just a neat phrase, but a series of accusations that someone wants to believe about you in order to make themselves feel good somehow. Wearing “that perfect dress” in this instance, means having a realistic view of yourself, being self-aware, and being comfortable in your own skin.

a poem by Cherie Burbach
published in the book The Difference Now and New and Selected Poems

Read the Label

You gave me a dress
but it was too small.
I looked at the label
and it said “unfeeling and ungrateful.”

When I told you it didn’t quite fit
you suggested I lose weight.
I ate what you prepared
and when the dress you bought me
still didn’t fit,
I stopped eating.

Now the skirt slid over my hips
but I still felt uncomfortable.
I realized it was the wrong color and style.
You said
since I was good
and lost weight
you’d buy me a new one.
But I couldn’t go with you
or make the choice myself.
You’d pick out my new clothes
and if I didn’t like them
I could go entirely without.

The new skirt’s label
said “lazy and stupid.”
I didn’t want to try it on
but you made me.
And I didn’t protest
I didn’t want to argue
or give you the impression
that I wasn’t a nice girl.

So I put on the new skirt.
It was short, and tight.
You said it looked good
that it fit me perfectly.
So I tried to be happy
and be what you wanted me
to be.

You told me girls were quiet
they didn’t talk back.
So I held my tongue
even though I disagreed with you.
But then you told me I didn’t talk enough
that I was stupid
and slow.

So I tried to show you I was smart.
I had a mind of my own
that I wanted to share.

But when I told you my dreams
you shoved me down.
You told me no one would ever want me
and I would always be alone.
And then you gave me a new skirt to wear.

This skirt’s label read
“difficult and unlovable.”
I put on my new skirt
but cried softly in my room.
I wore that skirt for a long time
even when I had outgrown it
I still told myself that it fit.

Every once in a while
someone would ask
why I wore that skirt.
They would tell me it didn’t fit,
and I should get a new one.
But I didn’t want to upset you
so I chased them away
from my life.

But one day
I walked past a store window
and saw a beautiful blue skirt
long and flowing.
I walked in the store
and tried it on.

“It looks good on you,”
the salesclerk said
as I spun around in front of the mirror.
I felt good, real, beautiful.
I read the label,
“passionate and honest.”
“It really is you,” the clerk said again.
And for the first time
I believed it.

“I’ll take it,” I said,
and handed her the money.
“In fact,” I said, “I’ll wear it out of the store.”

I handed the clerk my old skirt
and told her I didn’t want it anymore.
As I walked out
I looked at the mirror one more time,
and smiled.

This poem is published in the book The Difference Now and New and Selected Poems.