I’m often surprised by people, sometimes for the positive and sometimes not. People who try to shame you because of something they feel superior about. When we examine all our efforts and mistakes, we’re all guilty of dumb things, foolish ideas, and things that we did or said in a moment without thinking or maybe even meaning them. So how can we be so superior when we see this in someone else?
More than that kind of judgement, though, is the kind that comes from something that isn’t your fault. I’ve been called a “low life” because of my background. I’ve had nasty words of disgust thrown my way because of things that weren’t my fault, like my painful upbringing or the patterns I continued as a young girl before I finally figured out how to change my life for the better.
In all this judgement and shaming, I think of the end. All the total end, where we all sit in judgement at once before God. We all see how silly or foolish or mean we were. What then? What would we say to each other? That’s the meaning behind this poem, Afternoon Cinema,” which is published in my book My Soul Is From a Different Place.
We entered a room
with no doors or windows,
open to the world and our feelings,
open to the anger we felt,
at having our failures
displayed for all to see.
They played out before us,
and we watched,
rapt with attention,
like people with free tickets
to an afternoon cinema,
munching on our popcorn
entertained at the mistakes of others
but shocked
when our own came up on screen.
So when the showing was over,
we sat, disgusted and amazed
with each other.
How alike we were!
How similar
our regrets and shame.
And all we could do was nod,
and say to each other,
“I understand you.”
© Cherie Burbach, “Afternoon Cinema,” My Soul Is From a Different Place, 2014
This poem is from my book, My Soul Is From a Different Place.
