Sometimes I imagine what things were like before I was born. Like, did God sit down and have a chat with me and tell me everything that was going to happen in my life before I was even alive on the earth? Did He tell me He loved me then, long before I was born into this human body that would forget everything I knew before birth and would have to re-learn it and re-discover it here? It seems like a weird concept to some, but I think that the way God calls to us while we’re here and how He develops the relationship with us is pretty weird and wild and wonderful. I ponder things like that because that’s how I’m wired.
The poetry I write sometimes arises from me looking at things differently in an effort to understand them and get through them. I’ve been through a lot. Many of us have. And there are times when I look at it all and feel like it’s just so unfair. But then there are times when I look at it as God using me to help others, and when I bump into someone and they say, “Wow, I don’t know how you’ve managed to be sane when you’ve been through all that” or “I don’t know how you keep going” I can answer that God is how. God is exactly how I’ve managed to have a happy life now, even in the midst of pain and sadness. My joy doesn’t come from perfect life circumstances but from a soul that belongs to God.
As I wrote this poem I imagined God giving me instructions for how to live before I was born, then my coming to earth and forgetting all that (as we’re meant to), and then discovering what my soul knew all along, that He holds us in high regard. He wants the best for us.
High Regard
He gave her the assignment,
a tough one
because He cherished her.
Her spirit was strong,
but she’d soon forget that
and ask Him why
as tears spilled
from the windows
to her soul.
She’d struggle, feel pain,
and bring the lesson
through for others.
How He valued her!
Holding her tight
even as she wondered
if He really loved her.
Yet she feared leaving here,
Going back
to where her
story began.
Because she’d forgotten it all,
as she was meant to,
the knowledge she had
siphoned off
as she was pushed through
the confines of time.
Despite her confusion
there were times
when she’d suspected
what her purpose was.
It would sneak up on her
as she made her way
around this life,
doing things she’d deemed
ordinary.
But every once in a while,
she’d feel it,
His nudge,
reminding her of His charge,
telling her about the assignment
and how He would
work through her.
How special she felt!
To be held
in such high regard.
© Cherie Burbach, “High Regard,” My Soul Is From a Different Place, 2014
